Live Full Out: The Official SK Blog

Week 14: Hardly Sprinting, but Enjoying the Journey

I achieved 55 out of 58 points this week. My “Sprint” has taught me some key distrinctions, but the journey is hardly over as I realize how much better I can become by being more present to the most important people in my life.

This week taught me a great deal about what my wife needs from me, and I saw it because of the muscle of awareness that I have been building throughout these fourteen weeks. Last week, she road tripped to visit her parents while I stayed behind to watch our children. I received no less than six calls during her outbound drive, and while none of them lasted more than a few minutes, it clicked for me that this is the type of regular connection she needs during our busy lives. My pattern, of course, has been to not reach out at all during the business day while I am in the work zone. Clearly, it is the small things that make a big difference, and this is an easy daily dose I can do to let her know how much I love her. As a father, I was also more conscious of opportunities for connection and personal time this week, and it has been amazing. I’m sure there are numerous other opportunities still “hidden” from my view.

Relative to the elemental forces, much of my game has been about achieving higher levels of Sattwa, and I have been very successful in making progress on that path. In fact, I have enjoyed being detached enough to observe how the mind tries to pull me into Raja (activity, production mode, stress, crisis). By being detached, I have opened myself to new choices and have made a lot of wise ones over the last 90 days. Tamas continues to be an area of opportunity, and while I found opportunities to demonstrate more vulnerability throughout the game, there is much work to do in this area, and I know it can be a powerful personal connector when used strategically. I know that each of these forces serves a valuable purpose, and I need only remain aware to how they are playing in my life.

Much work to do, but I have made significant progress in all focal aspects during this game with the exception of Health, but I am back in the saddle there as well.

October 16th, 2007 Z Man

Progress Report

How has it gone so far I am asked to asses. Figuring that this game has been a 5 out of 10 so far—A grade of F by many standards. The health aspect of the game has overall been very good, although the past two weeks I have not been consistent. The body fat percentage has remained unchanged but I have lost some tone and heart rate gains over the past 2 weeks.

It seems I have let some business transition concerns affect my level of play. Not good–not bad but it is to be noted. I have had to continually call myself to attention as I feel myself drift during tasks.

There have been gains in other areas. The relationship with my wife and children continues to grow stronger. Business is making strides forward—in preparation of the full transition. I am falling still more often during the day.I am not sleeping as much as I should as my “task efficiency” is not optimal. There have been improvements in my ability to work more efficiently –and there is work yet to be done.

I still feel that I have not been the best partner to Lori and Rod—they have had their own distractions and I can be a stronger accountability partner but have failed in finding the key be of more service to them.

The book made zero progress for the past few weeks—but I have begun working on that again.

So—overall a 5.

Tony

1 comment October 8th, 2007 Tony A

Kumar’s Weekly Point Blog

This was a very exhausting week. My points do not reflect how I actually feel about what has occurred. I earned 47 points out of 50. By the numbers, a great week. NOt so in my mind. I did what I needed to do to get the points. It’s Sunday at 1030pm and I been unable to write the assessment or come up with my Sprint Goal. I am allowing some bad habits to form again and prevent me from moving on. Brief story, I could really use some feedback and major advice. Please forward such advice to my personal email kumarq@comcast.net. I must stress the importance this be sent to this email versus my corporate address. 3 weeks ago one of my top teams at ML sent over 3 proposals totaling $95mil in new business for the year. This would make my year and is a relationship we have worked on for a ling time. We went into over drive to get the portfolio managers in place, documents in order, and presentations ready to go. I went on vacation with an understanding we are all set. When I returned on Sunday, big meeting on Tuesday, I was informed our Taft Hartley team would be handling this case. Now they are handling all 3. After repeated calls to my manager for answers, I was told to drop it. These cases would help us end the year in the top 10, lead to hundreds of shares of company stock (price is at $91), and account for a quarter of my year to date income. I was told to drop it!!! This has truly taken me off my game and I have lost several nights of sleep. I apologize to my partner Brandon for being absent the last few days (mentally). I understand there are a lot of politics involved. We are trained to work with “Mega Advisors” and have spent hundreds of hours training to become better. I am exhausted, pissed, confused, skin rash, irritated, did I mention pissed, it feels like High School all over again.

Kumar

1 comment October 7th, 2007 Kumar Jagdeo

Week 13: Eyes Opened Wider

The points came easily this week as I achieved 58 out of 58, and I made significant strides in my environment organization as I worked through some piles that had developed, and am now left with a very short stack to process. What a powerful feeling I get from being organized.

The return to my former role has been sobering as my team missed their quarterly revenue number significantly. The process of bringing my focus back to the Americas organization has been eye opening, and I realize that it is an opportunity to re-dedicate myself to my purpose, and what I want for this team. When our Game assignment was to identify the one thing that is holding us back from living more on Purpose, mine was Consideration, and as I pulled together the autopsy on the recent quarterly miss, what stood out to me is how the basics I having been teaching the team for 18 months were the reason for our miss—time for a personal gut check. It confirmed two things:

I have to care enough about the team to push them to achieve their potential, regardless of their image of me, which means trusting my gut, and being honest with people who are not productive regardless of the consequences.
I need to get through to people in a more powerful way. My reality is I own coaching my leadership team, and they own the field team getting better. My job is not to do theirs, but I need to put my focus back on helping them close their own gaps to make the potential real, and then holding them more specifically accountable for their actions and results.

This week was also the beginning of my “sprint” to the finish, and my commitment to my Game team was that I would transform myself as a husband and father. As a part of that process, I connected with some other game partners to find out about unique things they do in these areas that they are proud of, and I started creating a list. The ideas shared were humbling, and I started to think about how to incorporate these new actions into my life. And then, I received an email from Luciano with his thoughts on falling still on what my family needs as well as telling them they are number one.

As I began to fall still and to carry this idea forward, I realize that the last thing my family needs is a longer list of tasks for me to be carrying out every day. Intellectually, I know that what my family needs most is for me to be present. This week because I spent significant time contemplating presence applied to my family, and came closer to understanding it. I see more clearly that simple concepts I have been learning to apply throughout the Game could also be game changers with family (shared journaling, reciprocity, falling still, attention). I just need to remain conscious of the moment-to-moment opportunities, and make good choices when they present themselves.

It’s going to be another great “sprint” this week, and I love how every week is fresh with insight.

Add comment October 7th, 2007 Z Man

He Finally sent in his blog

As everyone has told me, no excuses just do it! Well, finally I will just get it done. My points for last week were a combination of work and play. I spent 2 days working and 5 days on Vacation. I was able to finally enjoy a vacation and have used the game methods successfully to do so. Let me briefly explain. I am a workacholic and will find every excuse to work on a vacation. I also tend to plan the next vacation while on the first one, never in the moment. By setting exactly when I was going to send emails (no more than 15 minutes) and timeblocking/mind dumping before I left, my mind was at ease. It was great. hanging out, drinking, gambling, working out, spa, dolphins, shopping, eating, eating, eating very well. I did not feel guilty. With that said, I earned 52 out of 50 points and believe this has been game changing for me and my relationships.

Kumar.

Add comment October 1st, 2007 Kumar Jagdeo

Week 12: Back in the Game

This week represented my last week of dual role responsibility at work, and I am looking forward to moving back to one job, as is my family. For the week, I achieved 52 out of 58 points (90%), and I am excited to be journaling my lessons learned again, which I have missed since Week 7. It is really amazing how much more I am getting out of the journaling experience because it further integrates and reinforces what I am learning every week. Hard to believe that I had overlooked this best practice until I played this game.

My work with directed attention continues to pay dividends, and yet the more aware I become, the more I realize how asleep we all are. I am finding dozens of opportunities every day to be the detached observer… to just be. As I do, I find that there is no effort required to change my conditioning (i.e. there is nothing to do, only something to see). I find myself giving up control more readily, in less in reaction to outcomes, sidestepping being offended, letting go of value judgments. Everything is in order. Remarkably, I am also able to do this at work where the world seems to be in direct conflict with this approach to living. The more I aware I become, the more I realize I need only “do my work” without expectation. No need to struggle for results, but instead to just be aware while giving it my all.

My biggest opportunities for the remainder of the game center around how I can bring more awareness to my daily activities. It is not about the typical paradigm of doing more, but instead about how I can let go by dropping the weight of my unconscious conditioning. Additionally, I need to establish greater alignment between everything I do and my purpose. As I reflected on my purpose this week, I realized that the “tasks” I am already doing on auto-pilot could actually be done from directed attention, centered on my purpose. My purpose is not some future ideal, but instead an ideal I can hold myself to every day, and I must remain aware of the alignment opportunity with every activity I undertake.

Add comment September 30th, 2007 Z Man

Sarano Screwing up Royally

Mitchell and Luch,

I slept through my 3am with Mitchell, my 4:30am with the Spiritual Team, and then my 5am with Luch. Of course, besides beating the crap out of myself for screwing up I am allowing others things to “slip” through the cracks. First off, I apologize to both of you and secondly rather than feeling guilty and doing nothing I see the following “structural issues”:

-I did not get ready for bed at 8pm as planned, instead I resisted the end of the weekend (the same way I can’t seem to stop work on Fridays) and went to a friends house, ate a bunch of chocolate chip cookies and ice cream, watched an episode of “South Park” (because I was so full from dessert I could not go to sleep right away was my excuse for that) and then work up 3 and half hours late

-my phone is always a source of complaint for me, “it didn’t go off” which is french for I clearly don’t know how to use it

I would ask for your support in the following ways:

-moving forward I am not allowed to go out on Sunday nights (I also missed calling my mom, sister, brother in law and dad as a result of going out on Sunday night, generating the need for even more clean up)

-I would like to propose to Luch that we move the Spiritual Team call to the evening (at 7:15pm PST) if that works for the team. My meditation has been sporadic and often missing, guilt has begun to paralyze me

-I would ask that Mitchell and I have our call at 7:30pm PST as we had previously scheduled and that anytime I miss a call I have to write an essay on why and send it (at the least to the two of you), I request that Mitchell start working with me (or rather on me) using “consequences” that forward the action

By 8pm I am to start my daughter Grace’s bedtime routine and get her on a regular schedule by starting with getting myself on a regular schedule. I have been (in my estimation) a lousy partner and I am excusing it by getting the results anyway (of course, I am concerned with my results and am too selfish to spend my time worrying about my partners results), as well as, the excuse of my new born child when the issue is not her but me.

This issue of not going to bed on time did not just start when my daughter was born, hence it is clearly a great cover story for masking a long term problem.

I am sending this to my Personal Team, the coaching body and posting it to my blog as a way of starting to put some integrity back into my game. This is only step one of a number of “clean ups” I need to do for my many shortcomings and lack of follow through over this 90 days. I request that the two of you neither excuse me, understand me nor accept this kind of behavior from me.

I look forward to being as good a partner to the two of you, our team, the Spiritual Team and the coaching body as you all are for me. I apologize to everyone in the coahing body for my utter lack of integrity, sincerity and openess in dealing with my own shortcomings.

With No Excuse,

Sarano

Add comment September 24th, 2007 Sarano Kelley

it’s been awhile

Wow, I have not been blogging. I blame this all on the fact that the website was down, it broke my pattern and I developed a bad habit. I’ve reviewed my game. It’s interesting, I started to nail all the little stuff: juicing and meditating, etc..but I have yet to journal one time. I choose to blog. I have discovered that I would rather type than write. So my mission is to join an online journal and go to town. The part of my game that I thought would be the easiest was the losing of the 10 lbs. I have actually gained weight. This is interesting to me. I started with a personal trainer 2 weeks ago, began riding regularly, and I feel myself starting to refocus my mind on getting stronger. I fell in love in May and by end of July I had celebrated my new love at all my favorite restaurants twice. BUT, I am WELL on my way with my book. Yippee. Creating the Perfect Storm. AND I am in the process of getting 10MM dollars in commercial real estate under contract with my good buddy Rod. I can feel it all coming together. Keep it coming universe, keep it coming.

2 comments September 13th, 2007 Lori Taylor

No time like Mid-Point…

As I write this, I am sitting on the dock of my local marina, having just finished a great day of sailing on Long Island Sound. Man do I love being on the water.

I have accomplished most of my stated 90-day Game goals at the mid-point. But I know all too well the goals I have accomplished are the ones that I always knew I would get done. They were the challenging business oriented goals - I always - get those done. On paper this looks great, but I also know that the few goal that I haven’t yet reached are the simple ones that are behavior oriented, like getting up earlier. So for the 2nd 1/2 I am eliminating the challenging sounding business goals. For the next 40 days and nights I will play a very simple game that will be my most challenging to date, by far.

All of the business issues are not yet resolved but the framework is now in place. I am operating with confidence and a clear vision here. Now it’s time to be a better me, because I want to.I am tired of just trying!

Recently a good friend expressed some anxiety at the prospect of reaching the 50-yard line of life (age 45) Why is it that we men do not consider living past 90 to be a possibility? I turned 45 a couple of years ago and it really did change my perspective. I really do believe I have less time left than what I have already lived. It is a bit sobering. But it has possesed me with a sense of urgency, every day. I know my time here is limited a I have accomplished just a fraction of what I want to do. That’s why I was sailing today.

My life is awesome. I have challenging and rewarding business that I still enjoy. My wife is unbelievable. She is a great mom and a perfect partner for me. My kids are healthy and each of them bring me joy daily. Though sometimes I worry about them too much. I worry that Jeo does not have focus or direction at 24. I am very worried about Joe who is 20 and has been battling injuries since mid summer and lost his starting position because he hasn’t been able to practice consistently. I know he is very frustrated. This week the team went on the road and left him behind. Joe has never been through that before and I can hear the pain in his voice. And of course Lara is a 3 year old girl, this is a whole new ball game. So emotional, so sensitive, so bright. I worry about how she will handle relationships with men as she gets older. Will she know how to recognize goodness and sincerity and will she be able to see through the facades. I don’t want her to get hurt.

1 comment September 10th, 2007 Mitchell Rubin

Letter to my partner

Mitchell, sorry I have been sporadic in my contact but believe it or not just the contact and conversations we have had make a serious difference for me. I am shooting you this quick email to let you know that I am headed to the hospital today at 4pm to begin the process of inducing and delivering the baby. Mom is well, the baby is good and Dad is pumped!!! Interestingly, today is exactly 45 days from my birthday on October 23rd when I turn 45! I consider this the “true” midpoint to my game…coincidence…unlikely.

RELATIONSHIP My wife Brooke has given me high marks as both a soon to be new father and husband. While I see much room for improve, she is the umpire and there’s no arguing with the referee. I would also add that my daughter Georgia and I are the closest we have ever been and that she is excited for the birth of her new sister, doing well having completed her first year of college by age 17 and is in a great relationship herself. Also, my ex wife (who is like a sister to me) Chris and my wife Brooke had an incredible breakthrough in their relationship and that the two of them are forming their own relationship outside of me. I can’t take any credit for this and honest to God I believe I have the best ex wife in the world (I hate the word ex but I have yet to come up with another). At the same time my ex wife has made one of the biggest contributions I have ever seen anyone make to my current wife. I must say that I am surrounded by amazing women!

WORK I put my head down to get a number of things done before the baby was born and one of them is attached for your review Mitchell. After spending countless hours on the train to Vermont (to present for Sentinel Investments), writing my Foundation and business plans in the preseason preparation, then putting together the Boards of my companies, I then realized I needed a new management team…bad. The new CEO and CFO are both firmly in place and I have a call with them later today. I have set up a critical meeting of all of the people involved in the business (listed in the attached document that details the ”Organizational Structure and Key Players”) driving the business for October 26th so that you can meet them. I am officially no longer the sole decision maker, manager or driver of the business. This cuts my workload down easily by 50%…this is the reward I get for no longer being a control freak, I get a life! I have the best mentors a man could ask for in George and John who run The Edison Foundation and Chris and Paul who have done over $100 billion dollars in deals. With Mark Victor Hansen (”Chicken Soup for the Soul co author) as my publisher and mentor the only person I do not have as a mentor in business is Oprah. Chris is going to introduce me to his business partner and friend Mike Milken and I have agreed to do some speaking for them I still have no particular access to seeing if Oprah would mentor me. Then again, I got most of the goals in my game done in just 45 days so there is still time, just no real plan or approach.

BODY I woke up this morning and I am officially at my weight goal of 176lbs (actually I am 175) this is down from being 206lbs at the start of the year. The last 5lbs were a pain to lose but I got it done. Now I just need to cut my body fat down from 18% to 9% without gaining weight putting me in the best shape of my life at age 45. I also no longer suffer from crippling back pain and have reduced my stress levels dramatically despite still only sleeping 3-6 hours a night.

HOBBIES I am delaying the start of the final production of the movie on “The Game” but this is an “uptick” not a problem. It gives me more time to work on the script, work with the director who is coaching me (Drew Heriot the director of “The Secret”), and a lot more time for the two most challenging parts of this project fundraising and interviewing top athletes, celebrities and scientist. The project is one of a kind since I am donating all of my profits to our Foundation for children, giving away a technology we have been paid millions for and pulling together some of the best talent in the world from Hollywood, Wall Street and academia.

SPIRITUALITY I am working hard to not make myself wrong for my lack of progress in what is the most important category. I ”pulled” a ”sacrifice play” and front loaded my game with my work initiatives so that I would be mentally and physically free to be focused on bonding with baby Grace. I have not traveled since I did the Senior Market Advisor Expo on August 22nd and will not be traveling currently till mid October. I have increased my Bikram Yoga practice significantly and doing yoga in 105 degree heated room for two hours when it has been 106 degrees outside here is not exactly a lack of commitment. Rather than ”flogging” myself I am taking on some additional commitments in this area.

THE SECOND HALF I can see now that I have to admit that I have not taken your coaching as my partner nor my mentor’s coaching. Both of you have told me that you agree with my desire to have a therapist who truly inspires me to work further on my own emotional development. I have avoided getting this handled…I have ”tried”… which to me “worries” me; I consider it a danger sign when someone is unwilling to examine themselves or be examined. I had a great therapist for many years, we stopped working together after 9/11 and I have not had a serious therapeutic relationship since. This leads me to my second issue. My teacher (affectionately referred to as “Sir”) died well over 10 years ago, his teacher died a few years later. Since that time I have been mostly “self taught” and have taken various courses here and there but it is not even close to “working under attention” and working under attention can only be achieve through direct contact and relationship. I can see now that this is a therapeutic issue not a spiritual issue…that I am avoiding something, that I am somewhere in myself sabotaging myself…I do not know why and since this has been largely unconscious I have no idea what it has or is costing me. While it is great to have a happy wife, prayerfully a happy baby, be at the best weight of my life, my company in the most harmonious shape it has ever been in, my workload and travel schedule becoming the “lightest” they have ever been, I can’t help but hear my fathers voice (Rev. Benjamin Kelley) saying to me “for what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul…”. While my practices of meditation, prayer, scripture, service and study in “good company” continue unabated I can not go beyond myself…I can not take myself to the next level…I need a coach.

First, I will start by locating a therapist so that I can isolate “why have I been avoiding or resisting having a spiritual mentor in my life?” as I go about the process of EARNESTLY seeking that spiritual mentor. Ultimately, this is likely tied to the biggest challenge I have with “The Game” technology, I can produce the results but why can I not remember it is all just a game. Why must I be up when things go well and be down when things seemingly do not, why do I still believe on some level that results are the measure of a man, why is my love for myself still based on external things, why is my happiness tied to anything other than the joy of playing and serving…the Goal being…to be able to walk off the field of life knowing that I can look the Big Coach in the eyes and honestly say “Coach I gave it my all”.

I designed the larger game curriculum to give people with a purpose the ability to create financial freedom and spiritual freedom, few people leave the planet having achieved those two goals. As my teacher said to me “only a man beyond the need of help can be of any real help”. I seem to be excelling at one and losing ground in the other…I MUST COURSE CORRECT THIS NOW!

Mitchell, thanks for putting up with me, you have been one of the best partners I have ever had. Don’t be put off by my occasional resistance or stubbornness and continue to push me, continue to question me, continue to be the example you are for me and so many others.

I go to the hospital now and will spend any moment that I am not with looking after my wife in meditation and prayer, depending on how long we are there I will take on doing the longest single meditation of my life while I am there, perhaps I can replace 8 hours of sleep with 8 hours of none stop meditation…we will see said the blind man.

Peace,