Archive for January, 2006
I have had a very roller coaster day. I am suffering from a sinus infection and outside of my back injury I am almost never sick. My snoring was so loud that it chased my fiancée onto the couch for a little relief. This of course led to feelings of guilt on my part because she is
not feeling well currently and I felt like a jerk for being the one sleeping in a comfortable bed.
Today my Senior Exec Team had their final call. It was a bittersweet moment. Bitter because we had all experienced profound friendship and sweet because we are beginning a new team and had two new members join us today. The two men who joined Pat and Bob are some of the most gracious and giving human beings I know. One runs sales for a large insurance company and the other produces television shows. I am looking forward to us starting up again in 2 weeks. I have no doubt that I will learn much from playing with them about graciousness and giving.
Along the same lines I began a team today known as the Reviewer’s Team. It is a team of past players who have agreed to be coached by me over the next 90 days in exchange for giving me feedback on the way I have rewritten my programs. I had the call and its purpose in my head but when I heard the names and the voices it went from my head to my heart. Many of us have been through quite a lot together. I know I am biased but I would swear that some of the best people on the planet were on that call today.
My score is picking up now that I am actually keeping score (duh). I am accomplishing a lot but something is missing. My fiancée experiences it as me not connecting or my being in my head. I experience it as the realization that I have been “shallow†in my personal and business relationships and that it is a throw back to my deep seeded introversion that I have always struggled with. It is comical that a guy who is an introvert would try to overcome it by being a motivational speaker or that a guy who prefers to play alone would create a game that requires playing on a team…yeah I guess comical would be one word for it.
January 31st, 2006
Sarano Kelley
Today I scored 8 points out of a possible total of 23. Not good, not bad just facts. Two of those points are because I did have 2 of my partner calls today. Moving forward I will report in each day as to how many points I got out of my possible 23.
I have avoided two aspects of The Game for a while now, keeping track of points and having daily partner calls. I had considered myself “beyond” these things, it never occured to me that I was simply avoiding being held accountable and had an arrogant cover story.
It is a relief to finally get real with myself. So often I end up judging my day by how I feel rather than did I live up to my potential or did I keep my commitments to myself.
I did have a very powerful day of coaching, designed the entire curriculum for Consciousness Camp coming up in April and announced that I was writing a new book (which has put some serious fear into me).
At the same time after being on the road all this week I started work at 6am and did not stop for a break until 3pm. I got caught up on much of my work but I stopped just short of having all of my work done which bothers me. It seems that I must always leave some things undone so I can have an issue with myself. What is that really all about?
January 31st, 2006
Sarano Kelley
I just got home here on Sunday night Jan 29th. I had an amazing trip to New York and got to spend time with my daily partner Dave in New York and the weekend at my other daily partners house in Boston.
I can definitely say that last week was a huge relationship for me. Besides seeing my partners I visited with my brother for the first time in over 2-3 years and spent several days at my parents house which I had not done for well over a year.
I connected with one of my early relationships in the business and was surprised to see how many of our friends had moved up to leadership positions at various firms and how out of touch I am. It is critical that I get a place in New York and start spending some dedicated time there.
LA is great and I really enjoy it here but I also miss my family and a lot of business by not being in NYC.
All in all I have a sinus infection (which is more annoying than painful), I am tired from travel and tomorrow at 2:45 am I need to get on track. So far I have avoided keeping points, employing consequences and have good excuses for why somethings are not happening. I cannot however have excuses and results, it is excuses or results and I am going to have to make a choice NOW.
January 29th, 2006
Sarano Kelley
January 27th, 2006
Sarano Kelley
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January 25th, 2006
Dhrumil Purohit
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January 24th, 2006
Sarano Kelley
No clue what day it is in my game. All I know is that I feel like I just got off of a plane from Dallas and here I am on Sunday night having worked from 3pm till here at midnight.
I don’t see myself being up at 3am and I am annoyed that I had so much work to do. Something is wrong with my systems or with me or with both…too late at night to think about it.
Coaching all morning, meetings at the airport and then flying all day to arrive at my parents home in Brooklyn midnight tomorrow night.
What day is it anyway?
January 23rd, 2006
Sarano Kelley
January 22nd, 2006
Dhrumil Purohit
Got an extra dose of needed sleep and this evening I just went to my first therapy session in over 5 years. I feel that I have really brought some healthty relationships into my life over the last year Brooke, my CFO and financial advisor Dave and of course my Board of Directors…but I feel like I have been dodging therapy and I refuse to use “self help” as self medication…I just think it’s too easy to lie to myself about myself.
I just got finished presenting to Morgan Stanley in LA and had a powerful insight into a number of things. I interacted with a guy who I thought didn’t like me and what I saw tonight is that he likes me and I have been being weird with him because I thought he didn’t like me. It makes me
wonder how many of the people I think have issues with me are people I am projecting my insecurities onto.
Tomorrow is Dallas and I am currently calm. I think I am secretly scared. I believe that to deliver on a project that could have this scope and size that I will have to “shed my skin” which is always uncomfortable. I seek growth and at the same time I avoid the discomfort of it. I guess if it was comfortable it wouldn’t be growth. I wonder what I will learn in Dallas. I wonder what I will discover about myself in therapy.
January 19th, 2006
Sarano Kelley
Okay, I hate to whine but boy do I feel like “who did it and ran”. Work is killing me. I am restructuring all of our business operations, practices, financial structures and programs. I underestimated greatly the amount of energy this would take. I started work this morning at 6am took a break at 6pm only to have a call to do at 8pm.
I have to keep perspective it is not always like this. Much of this is a one time investment which will ultimately make my life easier. I was in no shape for an evening yoga class and I did not meditate this evening.
Brooke has been amazing and incredibly patient but I don’t want to have to push my relationship and my lower back to the limit to know when I need to shut it down. How to get the velocity and the intensity without the friction, without the wear and tear…I know it is in here, I know that I can tap into it but I seem to be struggling. All I know is that at this point I feel like “who hit me?”
January 17th, 2006
Sarano Kelley
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