12 Days Left, Doubts?
March 28th, 2006 Sarano Kelley
I am having doubts about myself here at the end of this game. I have not made my date nights, wedding/honeymoon plans a priority. My business is not fun because I have to do most of the planning and managing rather than speaking, coaching and relationship management. I have developed some “lumps” physically that have me a bit concerned that I have not gotten
checked out.
I don’t know why the doubts are happening now? I am wondering if my business is really structured in a way that works for my life. I am upset that I can make so many things happen but short change my closest relationship. It bothers me that I have time to do the jobs of others in company but no time for a doctor’s appointment.
Something is wrong. I can’t put my finger on it but it is starting to really bother me. I don’t regret anything but I am starting to have doubts about the way my life is structured.
Why is it that every game you get something great that you didn’t ask for and every game you see something about yourself that you would rather not. Guess there’s no sense in trying to hide from myself.
No regrets but I do have some doubts…
Entry Filed under: Game 30
6 Comments Add your own
1. Dhru | March 28th, 2006 at 6:23 am
Sarano,
You once told me that the feeling of being “overwhelmed” comes from trying to do more than one thing at a time in the now. But it is fake feeling, an illusion, because you can only ever do one thing at a time in the now.
I’m thinking that the feeling of “doubt” is created similarly. You can never doubt this moment if you attention is in this moment. Doubt can only happen when you project your fears into the future.
We’re playing right there along with you my friend, feeling the presence!
2. J | March 28th, 2006 at 6:29 am
Good day my friend,
As I told the CTC team last night I nearly lost my dad over the last 7 days to heart complications which brought me present to how I had structured my life out of integrity with my family. It culminated in a multi-hour procedure Monday that has appears to have saved his life for the short-term.
It is ironic, as you have said many times, how it takes a whack to the head to wake us from our sleep to see what IS REALLY important in our lives around priorities.
I had the EXACT same conversation as you’ve written it with my dad in the recovery room. It always seems that the work expands to the time given, which for some reason, is all the time I/we have available.
Thanks to your coaching and the support of the team, I can now say with confidence that should my dad have left this world yesterday that we both would have been able to do so without regret in our relationship. That has been 15 years in the making. I pray that you and I do not wait that long any further to keep first things first, as trite as that phrase has become.
In my life experience, the “something’s wrong” feeling comes as the result of open loops or unmet commitments, real or imaginary, imposed or invented, from you or due you.
It is a whole in the fabric of an integrated life of integrity. That hurts…
Any “truth†in that for you?
Said with love and respect and gratefulness for the opportunity to try again…
Having no doubts in you, Coach,
JB
3. Sarano Kelley | April 2nd, 2006 at 10:25 pm
Your insights, comments and coaching are invaluable as we travel along this way together. Thanks for being more than a spectator, thanks for being on the playing field and leading by example.
If I am a good coach then you are a great quarterback!!!
Sarano
4. Sarano Kelley | April 2nd, 2006 at 10:29 pm
Dhru, agreed! However, I would rather have doubts than regrets. Not that either are particularly conscious but doubt leaves open possibility whereas regret only undermines the possibility of powerful action in the present based on some imagined past.
As I said though, neither are particularly conscious so I will take your coaching.
Sarano
5. temnotak | May 7th, 2006 at 1:44 am
May we exchange links with your site?
6. nikelir | May 8th, 2006 at 3:36 am
Your site is very cognitive. I think you will have good future.:)
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