Mitchell and Luch,

I slept through my 3am with Mitchell, my 4:30am with the Spiritual Team, and then my 5am with Luch.  Of course, besides beating the crap out of myself for screwing up I am allowing others things to “slip” through the cracks.  First off, I apologize to both of you and secondly rather than feeling guilty and doing nothing I see the following “structural issues”:

-I did not get ready for bed at 8pm as planned, instead I resisted the end of the weekend (the same way I can’t seem to stop work on Fridays) and went to a friends house, ate a bunch of chocolate chip cookies and ice cream, watched an episode of “South Park” (because I was so full from dessert I could not go to sleep right away was my excuse for that) and then work up 3 and half hours late

-my phone is always a source of complaint for me, “it didn’t go off” which is french for I clearly don’t know how to use it

I would ask for your support in the following ways:

-moving forward I am not allowed to go out on Sunday nights (I also missed calling my mom, sister, brother in law and dad as a result of going out on Sunday night, generating the need for even more clean up)

-I would like to propose to Luch that we move the Spiritual Team call to the evening (at 7:15pm PST) if that works for the team.  My meditation has been sporadic and often missing, guilt has begun to paralyze me

-I would ask that Mitchell and I have our call at 7:30pm PST as we had previously scheduled and that anytime I miss a call I have to write an essay on why and send it (at the least to the two of you), I request that Mitchell start working with me (or rather on me) using “consequences” that forward the action

By 8pm I am to start my daughter Grace’s bedtime routine and get her on a regular schedule by starting with getting myself on a regular schedule.  I have been (in my estimation) a lousy partner and I am excusing it by getting the results anyway (of course, I am concerned with my results and am too selfish to spend my time worrying about my partners results), as well as, the excuse of my new born child when the issue is not her but me.

This issue of not going to bed on time did not just start when my daughter was born, hence it is clearly a great cover story for masking a long term problem.

I am sending this to my Personal Team, the coaching body and posting it to my blog as a way of starting to put some integrity back into my game. This is only step one of a number of “clean ups” I need to do for my many shortcomings and lack of follow through over this 90 days.  I request that the two of you neither excuse me, understand me nor accept this kind of behavior from me.

I look forward to being as good a partner to the two of you, our team, the Spiritual Team and the coaching body as you all are for me.  I apologize to everyone in the coahing body for my utter lack of integrity, sincerity and openess in dealing with my own shortcomings.

With No Excuse,

Sarano